Little Chap Lingo

Aside


I always said I’d keep a note of all those delightful comments our son makes. You know the sort of thing – like when he gets his words back to front or says something utterly unique and delightful from his own little person’s perspective. The funnies that I want to save up for when his girlfriends come round for dinner…!

Well here are some of Little Chap’s best, captured forever for posterity from his first year in the Nursery at our local pre-prep (Don’t worry, I’ve edited out all the poo comments!).

Age | 4 years, 2 months

In the school car park:

Stack of large pipes Credit: © Fotog/Tetra Images/Corbis

While watching some men digging up the road, we had been discussing what they might be doing – they were standing next to a large pile of pipes, around 8″ in diameter:

Little Chap (in a loud enough voice :/): “Look, Mummy! Wee wee tubes!!”

This reflected his obsession du jour – “what happens to what we flush?” Well, at least I know he was listening when I showed him the answer on Google…!

While I was driving him home from school:

Blocks with letters and numbers Credit: © Radius Images/Corbis

Little Chap: “I now know LOTS of sounds…there’s puh-puh-puh and i-i-i-i and huh -huh-huh and tuh- tuh-tuh and eh-eh-eh and …” 

There was a moment’s silence, then, in a slightly panic stricken/horror struck tone of voice…

“Mummy! If I have to learn another sound next week, will my brain explode because it’s too full!?” 

Oh my son, if you only knew!

***

On the drive to school (dressed as a pirate for Red Nose Day!):

Mayfair Mum: “I think I must have left my Little Chap at home today…perhaps he’s having a nap or something, ‘cos I can’t see him here in the car…but Pirate Little Chap seems to be here instead…!?”

Little Chap: “No Mummy, I am Little Chap, I’d never leave you. I don’t ever want to leave you. Never.”

I think that one will keep the home fires burning for all time!

Age | 4 years, 4 months

Waiting in the car:

He was talking to Mayfair Dad about playing in the woods when it’s Summer and he wouldn’t have to wear a coat (temperature at the time a parky five degrees):

Little Chap: “We could play Robin Hood. I’d be Robin Hood and Daddy could be Little John…”

Mayfair Dad (sounding a bit miffed): “Can’t I ever be Robin Hood?”

Little Chap: “It’s only a name!”

Age | 4 years, 9 months

While on a play date:

Chicken Crossing the Road Credit: © Corbis

Little Chap is in the early stages of developing his sense of humour. This time, he bravely tried to amuse us all with his latest chicken jokes…

Little Chap: “Why did the chicken put marmalade on his porridge?”

Audience: “We don’t know, why did the chicken put marmalade on his porridge?”

Little Chap: “’Cos he wanted it to be toast!”

Age | 4 years, 10 months

While having breakfast one weekend:

Little Chap has always been good at the deep and meaningful stuff and known to reduce the grown-ups to tears with the sweet sentiments he vocalises:

Little Chap: “Daddy… You know how N lives on his own next door…? (Poor old chap’s wife, M, died suddenly when Little Chap was just two – literally one minute she was fit and well and signing his passport form for us, the next she went into hospital for a routine op, contracted an infection and died suddenly) Well it’s ok ‘cos M’s waiting in heaven for him, so when he dies too, they can be together again.”

***

Another breakfast before going to school:

Little Chap had apparently been giving thought to his future….

Little Chap: “Mummy, would you mind if I was a soldier when I grow up…?”

Mayfair Mum: “Well, I’d mind very much actually, because it could be very dangerous for you and it would make me very sad if anything bad ever happened to you but I would be very proud of you if it made you happy. What makes you want to be a soldier?”

Little Chap: “Well, Mummy, I just really love the idea of keeping the country safe.”

Mayfair Mum: “Gulp!”

Little Chap said…Nursery Nonsense

Aside


I always said I’d keep a note of all those delightful comments our son makes. You know the sort of thing – like when he gets his words back to front or says something utterly unique and delightful from his own little person’s perspective. The funnies that I want to save up for when his girlfriends come round for dinner…!

Well here are some of Little Chap’s best from the last twelve months, captured forever for posterity.

Age | 3 years, 4 months

At bedtime:

Little Chap: “That’s all the kisses and hugs I’ve got for you Mummy – now get Daddy!”(Luckily he meant just for that night!)
 

Standing on the bathroom scales:

Little Chap: “I weigh 8 metres!”
 

At lunchtime:

Little Chap: “I want to be three forever Mummy”
Mayfair Mum: “Why’s that darling…?”
Little Chap: “Because I love the way you always help me learn things” (Awww!)
 

Age | 3 years, 8 months

At bedtime:

Little Chap: “I need a Mummy hug!”
Mayfair Mum: “But we just hugged goodnight, now it’s time to go to sleep.”
Little Chap: “But that was to say I love you, now I need to say goodnight” (He’ll use every charm in the book not to go to sleep when he’s told!)
 

In the bath:

Mayfair Mum: “It’s nearly time to get out now. Just one more minute.”
Little Chap: “I’ll get out when it’s ten o’clock Mummy.”
 

Favourite phrase:

Mayfair Mum: “We don’t have time for … now!”
Little Chap: “Just for a little hour Mummy”
 

Age | 3 years, 11 months

At tea time:

He was eating cottage pie and steamed broccoli, which he had eaten, with the exception of the broccoli stalks…

Little Chap: “Look Mummy! Trees without leaves!”
 

Mayfair Mum x (& The Little Chap!)

Little Chap Said…Toddler Talk

Aside


I always said I’d keep a note of all those delightful comments our son makes. You know the sort of thing – like when he gets his words back to front or says something utterly unique and delightful from his own little person’s perspective. The funnies that I want to save up for when his girlfriends come round for dinner…!

Well here are some of Little Chap’s best, captured forever for posterity.

Age | 26 months

Playing with wooden railway:

Little Chap: “Is he waiting for the sniggle (signal) to change Daddy?”
 
I have to admit I loved this one! I’m actually a little sad that he learned to say it properly not long after. Though its invaluable to have such a good talker at such a young age, for obvious reasons, and I’m soooo proud of Little Chap for being so articulate so early in life (hey! they’re monosyllabic by 13 right!?), I do miss hearing that baby babble and baby talk! :-(
 

Age | 29 months

During an early evening thunderstorm:

Little Chap: “I don’t like it when God moves the furniture about Mummy…I like it when he brings us nice things, like chocolate and flowers”

At Easter:

Mayfair Mum: “What do you like best about Easter?”
Little Chap: “God and Father Christmas and the…the…Mouse”
Mayfair Mum: “Do you mean the Easter Bunny…?”
Little Chap: “Yes! (grins) He’s going to bring chocolate.”
 

Age | 2 years, 5 months

At his friend’s 2nd birthday party, while solemnly munching a large piece of chocolate birthday cake:

Little Chap: “Some people come…some people go…”

During a heavy thunderstorm:

Little Chap: “Sorry I made it thunder Mummy”
Mayfair Mum: You didn’t make it Thunder, darling!”
Little Chap: “Thunder’s like you when you’re cross Mummy, it rumbles alot”

On waking up:

Little Chap: “I want huggles, Daddy. I’ve had enough of Mummy!”

On Mayfair Mum’s return home from work:

Little Chap: “I went to Grandpa’s today! He was lowing the mawn Mummy!”

At lunch, being offered a pot of yoghurt:

Little Chap: “I’ll like rhubarge (rhubarb) please”
 

Age | 2 years, 9 months

At bathtime:

Little Chap: “Mummy, my other leg is alright” (He’d grazed his knees earlier that day and was having the usual difficulty bracing himself to put them both under the water!)
Mayfair Mum: “Well, thank goodness you’ve got one working eh?”
Little Chap: “Yes, otherwise I’d be a mermaid Mummy!”

Mayfair Mum x (& The Little Chap!)