I always said I’d keep a note of all those delightful comments our son makes. You know the sort of thing – like when he gets his words back to front or says something utterly unique and delightful from his own little person’s perspective. The funnies that I want to save up for when his girlfriends come round for dinner…!
Well here are some of Little Chap’s best, captured forever for posterity from his first year in the Nursery at our local pre-prep (Don’t worry, I’ve edited out all the poo comments!).
Age | 4 years, 2 months
In the school car park:
Stack of large pipes Credit: © Fotog/Tetra Images/Corbis
While watching some men digging up the road, we had been discussing what they might be doing – they were standing next to a large pile of pipes, around 8″ in diameter:
Little Chap (in a loud enough voice :/): “Look, Mummy! Wee wee tubes!!”
This reflected his obsession du jour – “what happens to what we flush?” Well, at least I know he was listening when I showed him the answer on Google…!
While I was driving him home from school:
Blocks with letters and numbers Credit: © Radius Images/Corbis
Little Chap: “I now know LOTS of sounds…there’s puh-puh-puh and i-i-i-i and huh -huh-huh and tuh- tuh-tuh and eh-eh-eh and …”
There was a moment’s silence, then, in a slightly panic stricken/horror struck tone of voice…
“Mummy! If I have to learn another sound next week, will my brain explode because it’s too full!?”
Oh my son, if you only knew!
***
On the drive to school (dressed as a pirate for Red Nose Day!):
Mayfair Mum: “I think I must have left my Little Chap at home today…perhaps he’s having a nap or something, ‘cos I can’t see him here in the car…but Pirate Little Chap seems to be here instead…!?”
Little Chap: “No Mummy, I am Little Chap, I’d never leave you. I don’t ever want to leave you. Never.”
I think that one will keep the home fires burning for all time!
Age | 4 years, 4 months
Waiting in the car:
He was talking to Mayfair Dad about playing in the woods when it’s Summer and he wouldn’t have to wear a coat (temperature at the time a parky five degrees):
Little Chap: “We could play Robin Hood. I’d be Robin Hood and Daddy could be Little John…”
Mayfair Dad (sounding a bit miffed): “Can’t I ever be Robin Hood?”
Little Chap: “It’s only a name!”
Age | 4 years, 9 months
While on a play date:
Chicken Crossing the Road Credit: © Corbis
Little Chap is in the early stages of developing his sense of humour. This time, he bravely tried to amuse us all with his latest chicken jokes…
Little Chap: “Why did the chicken put marmalade on his porridge?”
Audience: “We don’t know, why did the chicken put marmalade on his porridge?”
Little Chap: “’Cos he wanted it to be toast!”
Age | 4 years, 10 months
While having breakfast one weekend:
Little Chap has always been good at the deep and meaningful stuff and known to reduce the grown-ups to tears with the sweet sentiments he vocalises:
Little Chap: “Daddy… You know how N lives on his own next door…? (Poor old chap’s wife, M, died suddenly when Little Chap was just two – literally one minute she was fit and well and signing his passport form for us, the next she went into hospital for a routine op, contracted an infection and died suddenly) Well it’s ok ‘cos M’s waiting in heaven for him, so when he dies too, they can be together again.”
***
Another breakfast before going to school:
Little Chap had apparently been giving thought to his future….
Little Chap: “Mummy, would you mind if I was a soldier when I grow up…?”
Mayfair Mum: “Well, I’d mind very much actually, because it could be very dangerous for you and it would make me very sad if anything bad ever happened to you but I would be very proud of you if it made you happy. What makes you want to be a soldier?”
Little Chap: “Well, Mummy, I just really love the idea of keeping the country safe.”
Mayfair Mum: “Gulp!”
Mayfair Mum 
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